Keep On Trying

all these artistic activities keep me somehow afloat
but ever so often I have to have my ear to the ground
heat that deep drone and listen to the sound all around
the only way not to be distracted by the pictures in my head
and even worse, the children watching television.
I can hear my heartbeat and the heartbeat of the earth
and remember the heartbeat of my mother before my birth
and again I’m running against a wall
it seems I can’t stop that at all
I’m obviously deaf the emergency call
and oblivious to the immanent fall
I find it difficult to listen at all
so maybe I really have to feel
to finally fall awake and become real
that is definitely the far better deal
even if its first the pain, I’ll have to feel
It takes so very, very, very long
to be independent and strong
to insist to sing my own song
to be finally able to move on
I know I can walk right through the door
I can even make it the other shore
where I don’t have to worry anymore
where I don’t have to wish for more and more.