Yes, sorry!
Bear with me, please.
I need to talk again about my disease
Yes, dis-ease!
An enquiry into the depth of the soul
might be a worthwhile goal.
Maybe a temporary reconnection with the eternal vibrations of our cosmic origin.
Maybe just a reflexion
or a self-deception
too often a welcome distraction.
Only one way of knowing …
Back to the source, to the almost unfathomable
Barely sensible …
Still indispensable.
Are you still with me?
anybody?
I’ll go on anyway!
Because it’s the day
To cut myself loose …
without drugs and booze.
Here we go!
Peaking to the other side
Later trying to remember …
But what will that be?
Bridges burning?
What will remain?
The ultimate yearning, learning, discerning …
The inevitably almost complete amnesia.
With luck some vague memories might still linger on for a while …
for me to harvest.
Can there then even be a planing of this kind of endeavour?
Any plan whatsoever for such a daring undertaking altogether?
Cosmic creative outbursts just explode or implode
in a seemingly incomprehensible crazy and random mode
here in my earthly abode …
Thoughts pop up inside of my head.
This cerebral spaceship is full of bats
and is falling more and more to bits
at the end of my fingertips
utterly failing me …
But behold, there is a telepathic toad adrift in an old boat
see! There!
Just in the middle of a flooded rocky road.
Where did all that come from? And Why?
Right here, right now, in our wired world of us human animals .
We are a questionable creation indeed
somewhere in the outskirts of the omni-verse
These must be just the inexplicable repercussions
of the occasional shockwaves from some past trauma …
All these nightmares of insomnia …
Again in a kind of koma without a komma …
and no full stop!
And more words …
STOP! — NOW! — PLEASE!
That big bang in me was long time ago
must have resulted in this tragic distortion and disconnection
followed by the inevitable suffering as a consequence.
I know with the necessary determination and a bit of help it will ease eventually.
Note to myself:
I am all in all lucky and have become a joker.
I realise the hope of redemption is not real.
It is a consolation in poetical form
but after the storm I was different than the norm
Without approval I will shine
Not to waste time is quite sublime.
Peace at last in a non-imaginary world
after I finally have been hurled
into the now somehow.
Nothing is far away, not at all bleak.
I am free to choose Now as a freak.
These super superfluous thoughts are just mind gymnastics at best.
No one will ever rest until passing the test of letting go.
Oh nohhh, man overboard, oh Lord!
Have mercy!
This bubble trouble must pop.
These thoughts need to stop.
I descend and pretend somehow
to feel my feet.
Indeed.
to discard the world without limits right now
by breathing slowly and entering my body.
I am driven by a simple rhythm to my satisfaction
in the right direction.
Let’s see action. Yah ha!
Here comes the resurrection!
Exclamation mark, another spark.
I am no more inside the dark.
That feels way better now.
A sigh of relief and not a WOW
feels much much better.
Relaxed for a while, with no agenda at all,
with a grin and a smile
for no apparent rhyme or reason,
I am sailing without failing
It is a newborn season.
No more an innocent imbecile
in the heartless mind of a lonely misled scientist.
To really come clear
I must have no more fear.
Sometimes I speak or sing in tongues now.
It makes sense to me somehow.
Unidentifiable and unrecognizable sounds
without limits or limitations and out of bounds.
Free as a bird
no dirt of a word
can be heard in my sacred yurt.
No clever meaning will cause any hurt
Nothing is truely absurd
anymore.
On this new shore
simply exercising my tougue and my lungs
without intention is not an invention
keeping my mind bright and blank
Being totally there
with every breath of fresh air
shaking the blues out of my hair.
All the confuse thoughts of confusion and desperate despair.
Gone – no more there.
Multi Art Expression